Saturday, May 26, 2012

This is why Facebook and my low self-esteem are evil

Soooo... It's my birthday. I've been feeling super low lately, but usually my birthday would help with that - not this year. My depression monster just looked at those two pretty little umbers in the square on the calendar and chomped down on them about two weeks ago when it seemed my in-laws (who ALWAYS make a big deal out of birthdays) were all unavailable this weekend and next weekend. To make matters slightly worse I had to ask them if they were coming so even though there are two of us in the city with birthdays within 2 days of each other it was a bit like I was chasing them yelling, "hey! Anyone still love me?" This morning I wake up and instead of my jubilant, "it's my birthday!!" I just lay there in silence. My husband, who has been in a funk himself and therefore not his typical frisky self just stirs lazily and rolls back over, even the dog jumps up - and runs to my sleeping husband. And then my phone buzzes. Facebook. 16 people have written on your timeline. First let me say the Facebook mobile sucks. It decides which posts you want to see on your own timeline. So I can't see who these 16 people are, and yet somehow deep down I know that although as I've been typing this another 7 people have posted messages, I just know who hasn't - and I'm afraid to look. Also I just realized (while sitting on my front porch) that I slept in sweatpants and a nightgown. Ridiculous.

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